Forgive me for what I am about to say. But, the next time an adult woman wearing a babydoll dress and ballet flats with little bows on the toes asks, “Does this make me look fat?” I will have no choice but to say, “Yes. You look like a nine-months-pregnant Lolita in that getup!” Normally I make more of an effort to cloak myself in political correctness—after all, PC has been chic for quite some time. But I just can’t keep a straight face in the face of such unflattering fashion. I mean, when did women get so caught up in the quest for youth that they stopped dressing like women and started dressing like kindergartners on the first day of school?

In the days of Jeanne Lanvin and Coco Chanel, the look was long and lithe. Not curvy to be sure, but svelte and feminine nonetheless. Then Christian Dior’s New Look literally buttressed the female form to a new height of sophistication. Later, Jean Paul Gaultier’s mystifying cone bra was an erotic revelation; and now, Martin Margiela’s esoteric creations are like sleeping bats on a hanger but, on the body, his deconstructed forms take on a lovely, drapey shape that flatters every figure.

Flip through just about any venerated fashion mag, and you’ll be hard-pressed to find a single babydoll frock. Walk down the street, however, and you are accosted by a toddling school of babes, with miracle breasts heaving over cinched empire waists that billow into domes so formidable they could top St. Peter’s Basilica. The effect is nothing quite akin to the fertile goddess figures cut by Botticelli’s Three Graces. No, mainstream style is more informed by two very different characters. You know them well: They are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.

I have gone around and around in search of the answer to this sartorial phenomenon. All I can come to is this: In a society of grown women who proudly shop at Forever 21, the priority of youth has spun so far out of control that we are going to new lengths—pre-pubescent lengths—to hang on to a thing we all know to be fleeting. It’s not enough anymore to invest in a good eye cream and color our grey locks. Today’s women seek to relive their playground glory days. (Should you find yourself on the monkey bars, might I suggest a pair of gym shorts beneath that babydoll frock?)

The irony, of course, is that the babydoll doesn’t just make a woman resemble a baby; it makes her appear that she’s about to give birth to one. I’m no psychologist, so I’ll spare you my detailed theory of a Darwinian undertone, of a survival of the fittest mentality driving women to flaunt their fertility in order to attract a man. I will also shimmy past the obvious fact that a woman who outwardly projects herself as babyish or baby-esque gives the impression that she is open, perhaps by choice, to domination by a daddy figure. (That said, it’s entirely possible that men totally dig this look. And that is another story for another day.)

From my perspective, I don’t know why any woman would choose to look like a toddler (cute as they may be); or why any gal would choose to look pregnant when she is not (nothing at all against preggers, but aren’t we also a society obsessed with being thin?); or why any adult woman would set back the important strides of female progress by subverting her maturity in order to fetch a lad. No doubt the allure of the babydoll dress stems from a deeper subconscious. Or perhaps I am taking this entirely too far.

But ladies, allow me to say this: With all your curves or lack thereof, with your laugh lines and hard-won wisdom, you truly are beautiful. In your quest for youth—and believe me, I’m right there with ya—don’t let go of the woman you have become. We’ve all worked way too hard to get here, and there are much better ways to celebrate the young girl who still lives inside. If we can leave the babydoll dresses where they belong, it will be a giant, well-heeled leap for womankind.

PS: If you happen to be pregnant, please enjoy your babydoll dresses—the accommodations are roomy to be sure!

Tags: babydoll dress, babydoll frock, ballet flats, Christian Dior, Coco Chanel, deconstructed forms, Jean Paul Gaultier, Jeanne Lanvin, Martin Margiela

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 18th, 2009 at 8:13 pm and is filed under Fashion & Style, Style Counsel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.